It's All Downstream From Here
by that one little guy
Summary: Remember Kirby and Waddle Dee's ride down the mountain stream? What if there was more to that scene than we know, and it was all part of something much more unlikely and sinister? This is Stage 3-2 as it was never meant to be told.
1. Meet The Heroes

**A/N: **...What the crap is this? I'm writing a new Kirby fic for the first time in… how many years? Well, recently my very first Kirby fic has been getting a lot of positive attention and people have been asking me to write another one so I thought… WHY THE HECK NOT. Since I'm already working on two full-length stories this one probably won't be very long, but I'll try and make it full of laughs and fun anyway. *derpface*

––

It was a beautiful and sunny afternoon on Aqua Star, the planet of oceans and lakes. On this particular day, one of the most beautiful sights of all was the Sapphire River, a quaint little creek that flowed through a pretty green forest as the sunlight peeked through the leaves. One person in particular was taking in the sights.

"What a nice river this is," Ribbon sighed as she sat on the riverbank. "So clear, so tranquil…"

"And so full of lunch! INCOMING!" Kirby cheered as he chucked a bomb straight into the river. Ribbon's eyes bulged as it exploded underwater, sending up an enormous splash and causing dozens of fish to come raining down on top of them.

Ribbon glared at her friend as a fish landed on her head. "_Kirby! _Don't you care at all about leaving nature alone?"

"Apparently not."

"HOLY CRAP! FISH ARE RAINING FROM THE SKY!" came a shriek from Adeleine. She, Waddle Dee and King Dedede had been hanging around a few yards away. "THE SEVEN PLAGUES OF AQUA STAR ARE UPON US! REPENT SINNERS! _REPEEEEEEEENT!_"

Ribbon groaned and hid her face. Believe it or not, this was pretty much a normal day for her and her unusual group of friends… or as Kirby insisted they call themselves, the Interplanetary Defenders of Awesometude. At any rate, Adeleine kept freaking out until Dedede lost his patience and gave her a smack.

"Ad, shut up already. That was just Kirby messing around with his Bomb power again. Weren't you paying attention?"

"That's a stupid question. Do I _ever _pay attention?"

"All right! Thanks for lunch, Kirby!" Waddle Dee cheered as he and the others sat down and started munching on the fish. Ribbon, on the other hand, just glared at them.

"Guys, you really shouldn't be eating that. You don't even know where it's been. This river might be really polluted."

The others glanced at each other. "You mean like, radioactive waste polluted?" asked Kirby.

"Well, possibly."

"So we might get superpowers?" Waddle Dee asked eagerly.

"Yes. I mean – _no! _Guys, seriously, stop fooling around. The only reason we came to this river in the first place is because there's supposed to be a Crystal Shard around here, remember? So let's pack up and start looking."

"I found it," said Adeleine without looking up.

Ribbon raised an eyebrow. "Ad, I just said _stop _fooling around."

"I'm not! It's right over there!" Adeleine insisted, pointing off downstream. Everyone looked where she was pointing and their eyes widened.

There was a very large group of people gathered around in the river, most of them sitting in pairs inside small motorboats. On the shore was a small wooden boathouse that led out to a dock, and there was a very self-important-looking Galbo standing out on the end.

But what _really _grabbed the group's attention was the large golden trophy the Galbo was holding, which had what was unmistakably a Crystal Shard attached to its front.

Ribbon turned back to Adeleine. "…Adeleine, how long have you known that was over there?"

"A few hours. Why?"

"I'll smack her if you want," Dedede said eagerly to Ribbon, gripping his hammer.

"You will _try_, fat one!" Adeleine declared, waving her arms around threateningly before Ribbon grabbed her by the ear and dragged her off. Everyone else followed after them.

––

The group walked over to the boathouse, looking awkwardly around at the large group of motorboats floating in the water. There was a lot of eager chatting going on among all the people gathered around.

"Well, whatever's going on here, that Galbo looks like he's in charge," said Ribbon. "Let's go and talk to him – and be _polite_, Kirby!"

"No problemo," Kirby said unconcernedly, turning to the red dinosaur thing. "HEY, BROSEPH! What's up?" he greeted, giving him a hearty slap on the back and knocking him into the river.

"I should just stop trying," Ribbon sighed.

The Galbo stuck his head out of the water. "Oh, um, hello there… are you all here to sign up for the race?"

"A race? Is that what's going on here?" asked Waddle Dee.

The Galbo looked at them in astonishment as he got out of the water. "You mean you don't know about it? This is the 38th Annual Sapphire River Race, the most attended and broadcasted event for miles around!" He shook his head. "You must not be from around here."

Ribbon was clearly picking her words carefully. "Well… you could say that."

"You could also say we're a bunch of planet-hopping vigilantes who are working to reassemble a big crystal that shoots laser beams," said Adeleine. The Galbo stared at her as Ribbon covered her face in her hands.

"…Uh, so anyway," said Kirby, "we actually came over here because we noticed your big, fancy trophy, mister… uh…"

"I'm Mr. Gallant. I'm in charge of this race," said the Galbo. "And this big, fancy trophy is the prize for winning the race."

"Awesome! Can we steal it?"

Mr. Gallant stared at Kirby. "Um, no. Listen, the five of you are drawing a crowd, so if you're not entering the race I'll have to ask you to – "

"Hang on," Ribbon cut in. "Look, Mr. Gallant sir, the only thing we actually want is that Crystal Shard attached to the trophy. It's… complicated, but it's absolutely crucial that we get that thing back."

Mr. Gallant just scoffed and held the trophy away. "Nice try. You're just trying to steal this thing, aren't you?" he said accusingly. "Do have any idea how often I get that? Do you know the kinds of people who would like nothing more than to swipe this highly coveted prize right out from under my nose?"

"I'm guessing people with absolutely no life," said Dedede.

"…Well, be that as it may, you're still not getting this thing."

"All right, fine… come on, everybody," Ribbon sighed, quickly ushering her friends away. Once they were out of earshot, they gathered around in a circle.

"Well, this stinks…" Waddle Dee pouted. "If this race really is such a big deal around here, that trophy is gonna be really heavily guarded… if we're going to steal that thing, we'll need a really big distraction. Ugh, this is awful."

Adeleine turned to him. "Why's it so awful?"

"Because I'M ALWAYS THE DISTRACTION!"

Adeleine folded her arms. "Well, sorry that you're the only one who can fit in the chicken suit and play the accordion!"

"C'mon guys, isn't it obvious what to do?" Kirby said with an eager smile. "We don't need to steal anything – we just enter this race and win that trophy ourselves! I'm naturally awesome, which gives us an automatic advantage in any competitive situation!"

Dedede raised an eyebrow at him. "Hang on a minute. Do you have _any _experience driving a boat?"

"Nope."

"Have you ever been in an official race that wasn't just for fun?"

"Nope."

"And you're planning on winning this solely based on being awesome?"

"Yep."

"All right, sounds legit."

"Ah, but wait a minute," Kirby suddenly groaned. "This race sounds like it's going to be a ton of fun, which means Ribbon automatically won't let us do it."

"Actually, Kirby, I think you guys should go for it."

Everybody stared at her.

"Wait – _what?_" Adeleine cried. "You're actually encouraging us to do something _fun? _Did you get the jungle fever?"

"Guys, honestly. Do you have any idea how refreshing it would be if we actually got a Crystal Shard _legally _for a change?" Ribbon said reasonably. "Imagine if we could actually win this fair and square, without having to get into a pointless fight or randomly smash things."

"I like smashing things," Dedede pouted.

Kirby and Waddle Dee exchanged a glance. "Well, I guess you've got a point, Ribbon," said Waddle Dee. "But then what do we do if we _don't _win?"

"Then we explain our situation in a mature and peaceful way, and try and get him to give us the Shard through civil negotiation."

The other four looked completely crestfallen and heartbroken.

Ribbon sighed. "Oh all right, fine. You can blow stuff up and steal the trophy."

"YAAAAY!" the others all cheered and high-fived.


	2. The Fun Begins

**A/N: **Well it's good to see people are excited about this story XD

––

Once the group had finished signing up for the boat race, their next order of business was deciding who was actually going to participate.

"It looks like everybody else is in groups of two, so only two of us can do it," said Ribbon. "So how are we going to decide who's going and who's staying?"

"A cage match?" Adeleine asked eagerly.

Ribbon glared at her. "I was thinking more like drawing straws."

"Hey guys… I think before we decide that, we should figure out where we're getting our boat," Kirby spoke up, gesturing at all the competing teams lining up in the river. "We can't exactly be in the race without one of those."

Everyone turned to look at him. "…Kirby, you signed us up for a boat race and you _don't even know where we're getting our boat from?_" Waddle Dee asked.

Kirby suddenly realized everyone was staring at him and started blushing. "Uh… heh heh… yeah, I guess I did. Fancy that, huh?"

"The smacking offer still stands," Dedede said to Ribbon.

"No, I somehow doubt that will help anything," Ribbon sighed, waving his hammer away. "So to summarize… the race is starting in half an hour and we have no boat, no idea where to _get _a boat, and absolutely zero boating experience between the five of us. I can already tell this is going to be beautiful."

"Aw come on, Ribbon, we've faced worse odds than this before!" Kirby said encouragingly. "Anyway, that's still plenty of time to find a boat. And if we can't do that we'll just steal one, like that time we hijacked a semi off the freeway!"

Ribbon finally snapped. "NO! We are _not stealing anything! _Kirby, doing this race in the first place was your idea, so you and Waddle Dee go get us a boat the _right _way. I don't care how you do it, but do not break any laws and do _not _cause a scene."

Kirby frowned guiltily. "Sorry, Ribbon."

"Don't worry, Kirby, this won't be hard," said Waddle Dee, who was very used to dealing with his friend's grandiose schemes. "All we gotta do is find something that floats and will fit two of us. It'll be a snap."

"And if all else fails, you can just use Dedede. Fat floats, right?" said Adeleine.

"Are you _actively seeking _death?" Dedede snapped at her, swinging his hammer at her just before she ducked out of the way. Within seconds he was chasing her up and down the riverbank and shouting threats at her while she laughed hysterically.

"…Uh, okay Ribbon, we'll be back soon," Kirby finally said. "And I promise we'll have the best boat you've ever seen!"

––

"You guys will _never _believe the awesome boat we found!" he boasted after coming back a while later. "The fates are smiling down on us, guys! We've got this race in the bag!"

Ribbon, Adeleine and Dedede looked at him skeptically, noticing that this boat happened to be nowhere to be seen. "Okay… so where is it?" asked Ribbon, praying that she wouldn't regret asking that question.

"Oh, right. Okay, you guys ready for this?" said Kirby, looking thrilled. "Feast your eyes on… the _Riptide Racer!_"

He stood off to the side to reveal Waddle Dee, who was panting and wheezing as he visibly struggled to hold up…

Ribbon blinked. "Kirby, that's a box."

"I know right? Isn't it the greatest?"

"Next time _you're _carrying this thing," Waddle Dee hissed at him.

Adeleine and Dedede briefly glanced at each other before they both burst out laughing, finally collapsing to the ground in hysterics. Ribbon sighed deeply and tried to stay patient.

"Kirby… I appreciate the effort, but everybody else is using actual boats. That thing is a wooden crate with slits in it. It's not going to work."

Kirby frowned. "Oh, come on! You're going to shoot us down just like that?" he demanded as Waddle Dee finally collapsed under its weight. "Do you have any idea how many dumpsters we had to go rummaging through to find this thing?"

"One?"

"…Yeah, but it was a really big one."

"_Bwahahaha!_" came a very mocking laugh from behind them. "Is _that_ your guys' idea of a boat? You losers need to quit while you're ahead!"

Surprised, everyone turned to face the voice and found themselves looking at a very cocky-looking Poppy Bro, standing with his arms folded and a smug grin on his face. Standing next to him was an equally cocky-looking Sparky, presumably his racing partner.

"Excuse me, do we know you?" Ribbon asked irritably.

"No, but you're about to," the Poppy Bro crowed. "My name is Boomer, and this here is Amp. And we're the ones who will be beating you today."

"Yeah! We've won this race for the past three years in a row!" the Sparky chimed in, hopping up and down. "We're the undisputed boat racing champions!"

Dedede rolled his eyes. "Wow. Congratulations. That makes you the biggest no-lifes in the entire vicinity."

Kirby did not look impressed at all. "Oh yeah? Well don't you know who _we _are?" he snapped. "I'm Kirby, and these are my less impressive friends! Maybe you've heard of us, or seen us on the news."

Boomer looked at him for a moment. "Huh? Oh yeah… aren't you the guys who hijacked that semi off the freeway?"

"All right, _enough _of this," Ribbon said sharply, pushing Kirby out of the way and turning to their two competitors. "Look, it's very nice to meet both of you, but there's no need to get at each other's throats. I'm sure we'll have a good clean race, and the trophy will go to the team that deserves it the most."

Boomer let out a derisive snort. "And you think that's gonna be _you _guys? You're driving _that _thing?" He pointed at the crate, which still had Waddle Dee crushed underneath it. "Get real! Me and Amp here are gonna show you how it's _really_ done! Get ready for the most humiliating defeat of your puny lives!"

They both threw their heads back and laughed maliciously, even keeping it up as they turned and walked away. Kirby was left with his jaw hanging open.

"Oh _yeah?_" he called after them."Well – well _you _guys had better prepare for the most… uh… Dedede! Help me think of a comeback!"

"Nah, it's more fun to just stand back here and mock you."

"Attention! Attention everyone!" came a loud voice. Everyone turned to see Mr. Gallant standing on the dock. "The 38th Annual Sapphire River Race will be commencing in ten minutes! All racers please report to the starting line at this time!"

As the other racers began jumping into their boats and getting ready to take off, Ribbon let out a groan. "Great. Well, we're out of time. Looks like you guys will have to use that crate after all," she said impatiently. "And you've also solved the problem of who's going to be in the race. You and Waddle Dee are the only ones who can fit in that thing."

She grabbed Kirby by the arm before he could go charging off. "Now Kirby… I know you have this competitive streak and you don't like other people showing you up, but _please… _don't let that Boomer guy interfere with your racing, okay?" she asked seriously. "We can't afford to lose this race because of some petty little fight. If it comes down to it, you have to be the bigger man and turn the other cheek."

Kirby frowned in deep thought, seeming to be contemplating this. "Well…"

"Or you could just _cream _that little punk! Make him suffer! Death and destruction!" Adeleine cheered, throwing her arms in the air.

Kirby instantly brightened up. "I like the way she thinks!" he said excitedly. "Come on, Waddle Dee! Let's go show those jerks what's up!"

"I can't feel my limbs," Waddle Dee croaked out as Kirby grabbed him by the foot and dragged him off.

––

Within minutes, Kirby and Waddle Dee had joined the other racers and were sitting in their crate, which was (miraculously) floating in front of the starting line along with their several dozen competitors.

"WOO! Go Kirby and Waddle Dee!" Adeleine cheered, standing on the shore with the many other spectators and waving a pennant. "Get out there and win! And remember the universe will fall to eternal darkness if you don't!"

"Don't you have something else you could be doing?" Ribbon asked her impatiently.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome, one and all, to the 38th Annual Sapphire River Race!" Mr. Gallant shouted through a megaphone from on the dock. "The rules are very simple! The team of two that makes it all the way downstream and crosses the finish line first will be the winner of the race… and this amazing trophy!"

"Hey, Kirby," Waddle Dee said in the meantime. "Uh… I'm kind of nervous about this, so promise you won't go doing anything crazy while we're in this boat together, okay?"

Kirby gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Waddle Dee… you know I'd never do anything to endanger my friends."

He suddenly noticed Boomer sitting in his boat with Amp across from the two of them, wiggling his fingers over his head and sticking his tongue out at Kirby.

"DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!" Kirby screamed, jumping up and down and nearly flipping the crate over.

"I hate my life," Waddle Dee sighed.

"Now good luck, and may the best team win!" said Mr. Gallant, snapping Kirby back to attention. "Racers! On your marks…"

Everyone leaned forward.

"Get set…"

Ribbon started biting her nails.

_BANG!_

Mr. Gallant fired a pistol into the sky, and all at once the air was filled with cheers and shouts from the spectators lining the river as the boats zoomed out of the starting line and took off downstream.


	3. This Might Be An Issue

It was chaos and mayhem on the river. The dozens of competing boats were throwing up a spray as they raced along, zigzagging around each other and narrowly avoiding numerous collisions with each other and with the shore, and the racers were all shouting excitedly at the top of their lungs. Kirby and Waddle Dee were smack dab in the middle of it all.

"STEER FASTER, WADDLE DEE!" Kirby shouted from the front of their "boat", waving his arms frantically. "We have to beat that bomb-chucking meathead! My honor is at stake! And I guess yours too maybe!"

At this point Waddle Dee was just sitting with his head in his hand and looking annoyed. "Kirby, I hate to point this out, but I CAN'T STEER A BOX!"

"Then you're not trying hard enough!"

Unfortunately for the two of them, it only got worse from there. The defending champions took that very moment to sail up next to them, knocking an unfortunate Chilly-and-Kapar team out of the way as they did so.

"Heh heh… well, look who it is!" the cocky Poppy Bro taunted them. "You guys didn't honestly think we'd let you get away that easily, did ya?"

Kirby glared at him. "YOU! I've been waiting several minutes for this!"

"Did you guys seriously come all the way over here just to antagonize us specifically instead of actually trying to get ahead?" Waddle Dee asked impatiently.

"Possibly… anyway, enjoy _last place_, pinky!" Boomer shouted as he and Amp went soaring past the other boats, pulling into the lead. "We'll be sure to send you a postcard!" Then, seemingly as an afterthought, he wound up and hurled a bomb right into Kirby and Waddle Dee's boat.

"WAAAAAAAAUGH!" they both screamed as the explosion rocked their boat, sending it spinning out of control and ricocheting off a bunch of rocks sticking out of the river. The other racers all gasped and swerved to get out of their way, and by the time the two puffballs had regained control of their ride they had fallen to nearly last place.

Kirby lifted his head up stared after Boomer and Amp in disbelief. "'_Pinky_'?" he roared. "I can handle getting bombs thrown at me, but… PINKY? That man has a death wish! Waddle Dee, man the harpoons!"

"We don't have harpoons."

"Really? Darn, that would've been neat."

––

Unbeknownst to Kirby and Waddle Dee, their friends had a front-row view of this entire thing. There was a huge plasma TV screen mounted over the riverbank by the starting line, and all the spectators were watching an aerial view of the race and cheering.

"Man, this is gettin' good," said Dedede, watching the race in rapt attention and munching from a bag of popcorn.

Ribbon, naturally, was the only one not in a good mood at the moment. "Dedede, did you not see what just happened? Aren't you a little concerned that Kirby and Waddle Dee's _lives _might be in danger?"

"Should I be?"

"And from the looks of our sky cam, Boomer and Amp have pulled into the lead!" announced Mr. Gallant, who was now wearing a set of earphones and a microphone. "This is an exciting turn of events, folks! Why don't we hear some commentary from our cameraman, Bernie?"

"It's madness down there, Mr. Gallant," said Bernie, a Bronto Burt, into his mike as he held up a camera and flew along after the racers. "It's a bloodbath. Brother against brother, small neckless puffball against small neckless puffball. It's something out of a nightmare, I tell you. I haven't seen this much devastation since the last time my in-laws came over."

"…Bernie, this really isn't the time."

"_YOU'RE_ NOT THE TIME, GALLANT!"

"All right, that's _it!_" Kirby snarled in the meantime as he and Waddle Dee struggled to catch up with the other racers. "These guys have humiliated us for the last time! The only appropriate course of action is gratuitous violence!"

Waddle Dee glared at him. "Kirby, are you serious? If we try something like that we're gonna get disqualified!"

"I don't care! That guy called me pink! He has to die!"

"You're right. That must be a real stain on your pride."

"Darn skippy! Now full speed ahead!"

He and Waddle Dee both leaned forward as far as they could, causing the crate to dip forward at a faster and faster rate until they were zooming past the other racers. Finally they had nearly caught up to Boomer and Amp, and the Sparky was the first to notice them coming up from behind.

"Uh oh… uh, we got a problem, Boomer."

"Unless it's Kirby coming back and holding some kind of gigantic flaming sword, I don't want to hear about it!"

Amp glanced over his shoulder and saw Kirby rapidly approaching them while holding a lit bomb over his head. "…Okay, I'll just stay quiet then."

"HEY BOOMER! LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!" Kirby shouted, hurling his bomb directly at his rival's boat. It hit the side and exploded, causing Boomer and Amp to scream as their boat listed dangerously to the side and almost flipped over.

"What in the – how do _you _have bombs?" Boomer demanded. "Quit stealing my bit!"

"_Never! _Prepare for humiliation, evil one!" Kirby declared. The two of them instantly started hurling a rapid-fire volley of bombs at each other, but they were both so riled up that most of the bombs missed their mark by several yards.

"WOO! Yeah Kirby!" Adeleine cheered, jumping up and down. "You're the _bomb! _Ha ha, get it? The bomb? See, 'cause he's throwing bombs at those other guys? It's like a pun or some – AAAACK!" she screamed as Dedede started beating her into the ground with his hammer.

Mr. Gallant observed the race with interest. "Ah, what's this? It seems our defending champions have gotten a little friendly competition from Kirby and Waddle Dee!"

"Friendly competition? They're _chucking bombs at each other!_" Ribbon shouted at him. "There's no possible way that's legal! They're going to hurt each other!"

"Such is the cutthroat world of competitive racing, my dear," said Mr. Gallant. "I'm afraid it's well within the rules. Racers are encouraged to get creative!"

Ribbon glared at him. "You're saying _everything _going on out there is legal? Even that Yariko who's stabbing everyone?"

"So long as nobody sues us, then yes."

Ribbon groaned to herself, realizing she had no choice but to take matters into her own hands. She quickly grabbed Adeleine and Dedede and hauled them off until they were well away from the rest of the crowd.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Dedede said through a mouthful of popcorn.

"All right, listen, you two," Ribbon sighed. "I was _really _hoping we could do this fairly, but those racers out there are crazy, and I don't know if Kirby and Waddle Dee can handle it. And you know how crucial it is that we get that Crystal Shard, by any means necessary."

The other two glanced at each other. "Okay… so what do you want _us _to do about it?" asked Dedede.

"Well, even though we're not in the race, you guys can still help those two out. I want you to – "

"Sabotage?" Adeleine asked eagerly.

" – maybe just do something about those other racers, so that – "

"Sabotage?"

" – just try and keep them from interfering with Kirby and Waddle Dee, so they have a better shot at – "

"Sabotage?"

Ribbon sighed deeply. "All right, fine. Yes, I want you to sabotage."

"YES! Finally, the pendulum swings for Adeleine!" the artist cheered, racing off while cackling insanely.

Dedede glanced at Ribbon to see what she made of this. "Just go," she groaned, waving him off. "Keep an eye on her and make sure nobody dies."

"Well, I'm definitely not promising that."

––

"Ready to surrender yet, pinky?" Boomer sneered as the two competing boats raced side by side and repeatedly rammed into each other.

"NEVER! Death before dishonor!" Kirby screamed, waving his arms over his head.

"So how do you two know each other?" Amp asked Waddle Dee as the two of them sat back nonchalantly and watched this going on.

"Well, that's a funny story actually…"

"Amp, stop talking to them! It's time to get serious!" Boomer shouted. "All right Kirby, you think you're hot stuff? Well get a load of _this!_"

He reached down and pulled out an _enormous _bomb, much bigger than anything he'd thrown so far. As if that weren't bad enough, it also had a skull painted on its side.

Kirby's eyes bulged and Waddle Dee looked exasperated. "You brought that thing to a _boat race? _You need therapy, man!"

"Mwahahaha! Sayonara, suckers! See ya at the finish line… in a few weeks, maybe!" the Poppy Bro jeered, hoisting the bomb over his head and hurled right at the other boat. Kirby and Waddle Dee both freaked out, screaming in panic as they frantically tried to paddle out of the way.

_**PHOOOOOOOOM!**_

The bomb landed in the water right next to them, and the explosion was so huge that it sent their boat flying through the air, soaring over the heads of the other racers. Kirby and Waddle Dee screamed at the top of their lungs as they were sent plummeting down, splashing into the water a far distance away from the other boats.

Once they reemerged from the water and his ears stopped ringing, a soaking wet Kirby lifted his head up and groaned. "Urgh… that stupid freaking… he's getting a strongly worded letter from me…"

Thankfully, Waddle Dee's head was much clearer. "Uh, Kirby… where are we?"

"Huh?" Kirby looked around and realized they had landed in an unfamiliar section of the river, and there were no other racers to be seen. There was nothing around them but forest, and everything was eerily quiet.

Kirby frowned. "Those jerks! They blew us straight off course!" he exclaimed. "How are we supposed to win now?"

"Actually… I think that's the least of our problems," said Waddle Dee, pointing straight ahead.

Kirby looked where he was pointing and realized that their little boat was still drifting downstream… and it was headed straight into a huge rock tunnel, where inside it was seemingly pitch black and impossible to see to the other end.

"…Well, shoot," he said as they were both swallowed up by the darkness.


	4. A Turn for the Worse

**A/N: **Was playing Kirby 64 with the cousins yesterday so guess what I felt like updating? :D We also decided that the reason all the enemies on all the planets attack Kirby is because they're jealous of his swag.

––

Even after the sudden disappearance of the two most prominent up-and-coming racers, the boat race was still as chaotic as ever. Boomer was still chucking bombs at anyone who got too close to him and Amp, and the other racers were resorting to rather unsavory tactics as well. As the majority of the creatures living here had some kind of elemental power, you can imagine how this was going.

At that very moment, Adeleine and Dedede stuck their heads out of the bushes lining the riverbank and got a good look at all the boats whizzing by.

"Okay Dedede! You remember the plan? Ribbon wants us to get rid of all these guys so our best pals Kirby and Waddle Dee have a fighting chance!"

Dedede kept looking out at the race. "Where _are _Kirby and Waddle Dee? I don't even see them. Maybe they got lost."

"Oh well, who cares. Anyway, time to get down to business!" said Adeleine, dramatically whipping out her easel and art supplies.

Dedede tried to follow her logic, and as is inevitable, he failed. "What exactly are you doing with that stuff?"

"I'm making something to get rid of those guys! Remember, my magical painting skills can create _anything, _even living beings! In fact, when you think about it, I'm essentially a god! Mwahahaha!"

"It's a wonder the fabric of the universe hasn't unraveled yet," Dedede grumbled as Adeleine quickly went to work painting something.

Meanwhile, Ribbon was still hanging back with the rest of the spectators gathered around the television screen. Unlike the others, though, she was far too distraught to watch anymore and was sitting with her head in her hands.

"Well folks, Kirby and Waddle Dee are nowhere to be seen, which means Boomer and Amp have taken the lead once again!" Mr. Gallant announced. "And it just keeps getting more and more exciting over here, ladies and gentlemen. We've got a five-boat pileup further up the river and two of our racers appear to have gotten into a slap fight…"

"I don't believe this. Kirby and Waddle Dee got blown up and sent who-knows-where, and nobody seems to care…" Ribbon cried, still unable to look at the screen. "How can this possibly get any worse?"

"What's this, ladies and gentlemen? There appears to be a small black-haired girl standing on the shore and holding a crossbow!"

"Oh, right. That's how."

"TASTE MY FURY, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE PUFFBALLS!" Adeleine shouted, firing a round of bolts at the racers zooming by. They all screamed in confusion as the bolts struck their boats in the side, sending them careening off course and crashing into the shore.

"YEAH! This is awesome! Dedede, don't you wanna try?"

"Oh, why not. Pass me the smoke bombs."

Back at the starting line, all the spectators were getting very confused. "Who gave that girl a _crossbow?_" somebody asked.

"Should we be panicking?" asked somebody else.

"I vote for panicking!" screamed a little Emp before racing frantically racing off into the trees.

Mr. Gallant frowned, looking concerned about something. "What is she doing? She's taking all of those racers out of the running! This won't do at all…"

He turned to his security detail, a pair of burly Nruffs wearing sunglasses. "You two! Get over there now and… rectify this situation."

"You got it, chief," said one of them, and the two brown warthogs immediately turned around and hustled off down the river. As Ribbon saw them go, she groaned and reluctantly followed after them, realizing it was up to her and her rare gift of sanity to save the day again.

––

Kirby and Waddle Dee huddled nervously in their little crate as they drifted through the cave. It was lit up slightly by what looked like huge glowing dandelions lining the shore, but it was still mostly dark and very spooky. There was no sense trying to backpedal, as the current was too strong for them to make it back the way they'd come.

"Great… where are we now?" Kirby groaned. "Waddle Dee, I think we'd better pull over."

"I hear ya," said Waddle Dee, and they quickly steered their boat onto the rocks and climbed out. As they looked around, it was quiet except for the trickling of the river, and they couldn't see anybody else… which naturally just made them more nervous.

"Well, let's review," said Kirby. "We're lost, we're stuck in here, nobody _knows _we're here, and we're probably going to have to resort to cannibalism in a few hours."

Waddle Dee stared at him. "_What?_"

"Uh, forget that last one. Anyway, we gotta work on finding a way out of this place."

"Good thing you have that Bomb power on you, Kirby. You could just blow a hole through the wall."

"Hey, good idea!" Kirby exclaimed, but before he could pull out one of his bombs he suddenly heard a noise that made him freeze up.

"…Did you hear that, Waddle Dee?"

"You mean that skittering noise?" Waddle Dee asked nervously. As they looked around, they were certain that they could hear something scuttling along in the shadows… or more accurately, a whole _lot _of somethings.

"Uh… hello?" Kirby finally called out. "Is somebody in here? Please don't hurt us… because if you do I totally have bombs I could kill you with…"

Waddle Dee glared at him. "You're not very good at diplomacy, are you?"

Surprisingly, though, somebody actually responded to Kirby. Both puffballs looked in surprise as what looked like a little red crab suddenly came shuffling out of the darkness, walking up to them and looking up at them with a curious expression.

When Kirby saw it, he immediately sighed in relief. "Oh, it's just a Kany," he said dismissively. "Ha! I feel silly. I can't believe we were so worried…"

Suddenly the Kany glared at them. "KILL THE INTRUDERS!" it shouted, and right on cue a massive wave of dozens more Kanys came swarming out of the darkness from every direction, shouting threats and battle cries at the top of their lungs.

Kirby and Waddle Dee spent a second or two watching this in bug-eyed horror. "_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_" they finally screamed, spinning around and scrambling across the rocks back to the cave entrance, only to be accosted by a group of Kanys almost immediately.

"You're not getting out of here!" one of them shouted, snapping its claws threateningly at them.

"Uh sorry but I kind of beg to differ!" Kirby shouted back, frantically picking it up and using it to repeatedly bash another one over the head.

"Kirby, just _use your bombs!_" snapped Waddle Dee, who was swinging his arms around like crazy and fending off three different Kanys at once.

Kirby pondered this for a moment. "Oh yeah, good idea." He pulled out an explosive. "All right, you punks asked for it!" he shouted, hurling it at the attacking crabs. The ensuing explosion sent several Kanys soaring high up into the air, and the rest of them immediately scrambled backwards and out of Kirby's reach.

"The intruders must be destroyed!" one of them shouted at the others. "They must pay for their crimes!"

"_What _crimes?" Kirby demanded, defending himself against the group of Kanys who were trying to attack him from behind. "We haven't done anything wrong! Unless you count that semi, but that was totally unrelated!"

"Kirby, we don't have time for this! Just hurry up and get rid of these guys!" said Waddle Dee, who appeared to be in some kind of boxing match with a big Kany. As he leapt back and forth and punched it in the face, it responded by clamping down on his arm. "AAAHHHHH! OW OW OW BAD IDEA!"

"_Hey! _Let go of him!" Kirby snapped, rushing forward and chucking a bomb at it. Then several more Kanys began forming a circle around the two of them, and it was all Kirby could do to keep them at bay by throwing bombs as fast as he could. Unfortunately, he was quickly running out of energy.

"Waddle Dee, I hate to say it, but this might be the end," he finally said, looking very pained and sad as the Kanys surrounded them. "I'm sorry I couldn't save us."

"It's okay, Kirby," Waddle Dee sighed. "I'm just glad you were able to face the end with dignity, especially since you never got to show up Boomer like you wanted."

Kirby's eyes bulged. "Crap, you're right! WE CAN'T DIE NOW! THESE PUNKS ARE GOING DOWN!"

"I really do hate my life…" Waddle Dee groaned.

But then something very strange happened. Instead of attacking them, all of the Kanys at once suddenly froze, seemingly staring off at something behind Kirby and Waddle Dee. Their eyes grew wide and they immediately scrambled backwards, vanishing back into the shadows as quickly as they had appeared. Within moments, Kirby and Waddle Dee were alone again, very confused indeed.

"Uh… what just happened?" Waddle Dee asked after a long moment.

Kirby thought about it. "Well if I had to guess, I'd say my highly concentrated aura of awesomeness has made the atmosphere around us inhospitable, so they had to get away from us to avoid suffocating to death."

Waddle Dee looked at him incredulously. "Where do you come up with these things?"

"Sometimes I stay up at night thinking them up, to be honest."

Suddenly there came a low, extremely foreboding shuffling noise from directly behind them, telling them that they were now in the cave with something _very _large. Both of them immediately grew stiff, their faces growing pale. They warily exchanged a glance before they both very slowly and reluctantly turned around, finding themselves face-to-face with the thing that had scared their attackers away.

It was a _huge _Kany, far bigger and stronger than any of the other ones, towering over the duo's heads as it glared down at them, brandishing its massive and lethal-looking claws.

"GIANT ENEMY CRAB!" Kirby shrieked in fear, instantaneously hurling a volley of bombs at the enormous crustacean. To his and Waddle Dee's horror, though, they did nothing but bounce harmlessly off its carapace and splash into the water.

"What's _this? _Two little racers have come wandering into our lair?" it sneered in a very low, powerful voice, snapping its claws in anticipation. "How serendipitous. I think it's time… for a little _discussion._"

The two little puffballs cowered together in fear, powerless to do a thing as the Kany advanced on them and its shadow fell over them.

––

The competitors making up the tail end of the race still didn't know about the fiasco that was going on further downstream. So when they got there, they were completely unprepared for a huge golden lasso to suddenly come flying out from the shore, tightening around the Kapar and Chilly's boat and yanking them off to the side.

"What in the – what's going on?" the Chilly cried as they skidded onto the shore, revealing Adeleine holding the lasso and Dedede standing next to her with an evil grin.

"Hello, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce you to my good friend Mr. Hammer. Hammer, chumps. Chumps, hammer," he said, promptly whacking them both over the head and leaving them dazed and confused.

"Dedede, we already took them out of the race, you didn't really have to do that," Adeleine said in confusion.

"I'm the hammer guy. I see a chump, I use the hammer. Neither you nor I can change this."

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" came a voice from behind them. They both turned around to see the security Nruffs standing on the shore behind them, looking very angry indeed.

"So you're the ones sabotaging the race and interfering with the racers!" the first one snapped. "Who's responsible for this?"

The Kapar and Chilly pointed at Dedede, Dedede pointed at Adeleine, and Adeleine got confused and pointed at the Nruff. "…Wait, that's not right."

"Mr. Gallant is not happy at all with the two of you," the Nruff growled, advancing on the penguin and the painter. "He has a very specific _plan _for this river. Anyone who interferes with the race interferes with the plan, and anyone who interferes with the plan must be… _taken care of_."

Dedede stared at them in surprise. Adeleine gasped and cried "Woah! Dramatic reveal!"

That was the last thing they remembered before they were both knocked out cold.


	5. A Plan Is Set

Inside the rocky cave, Kirby and Waddle Dee were sitting on a ledge jutting out of a wall, surrounded by Kanys scuttling around. They were still a little uneasy about that, even now that they had had a very long and important discussion with the leader.

"So… let me get this straight," said Kirby. "You're saying that this entire race is just one big gigantic scam?"

"That is correct," said the giant Kany. "We Kanys used to inhabit this river, but ever since that Galbo started holding races every year, we've been forced off our land and have had to dwell in this cave ever since."

"But… _why?_" asked Waddle Dee, looking confused. "What made it so you guys can't live out on the river anymore?"

"It keeps getting blown up," the giant Kany said flatly. "I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone who lives on this planet seems to be a bunch of trigger-happy nutcases… and from what we've seen of you two, you're no exceptions."

Kirby put on a goofy grin with half-closed eyes. "Heh heh… yeah, that's true. Good times… goooood times…"

"This man does not represent me," Waddle Dee said flatly. "So, anyway, Mr. Gallant basically forced you guys off your homeland just so he could make money off of the races every year?"

"Precisely. In fact, the very reason he makes so much money is because of the ridiculous spectacle the racers make. People pay to see them committing all sorts of violent and senseless acts as they try to win… and at the same time, that reckless behavior is destroying our river, making it unfit for us to live in."

"So when you and Boomer were fighting, you were just serving Mr. Gallant's evil plan," Waddle Dee said to Kirby, folding his arms in disapproval. "So _now _will you cut it out and stop trying to kill the guy?"

Kirby looked a little torn. "Well… on the one hand, I don't like evil plans… but on the other hand, I _do _like blowing up people who annoy me."

Waddle Dee sighed and covered his face. "Don't worry, Kirby and I will put a stop to this," he promised the big Kany. "We'll tell everybody what Mr. Gallant has been up to, and then he'll have to shut down the race. Then you guys will get your home back."

"We would appreciate that very much," the big Kany said gratefully. "If you vouch for us, people will be more likely to believe we are telling the truth."

"But there's one thing I still don't get," said Kirby. "Why haven't _you _guys just fought Mr. Gallant to get your own river back? I mean, you're… really big."

"It's glandular," the giant Kany pouted. "Anyway, we prefer to resolve our disputes peacefully if we can. I did once break down the wall of his office to have a talk with him, but everyone in there just started pointing and screaming some nonsense about attacking my weak point for massive damage."

"Well, that explains it," Kirby decided. "All right, we'll be sure to expose that dino-brain and save your guys' home. But in the meantime – " He whipped out their boat from literally out of nowhere and held it over his head. "_We've got a race to finish! _Let's go, Waddle Dee!"

Waddle Dee stared at him. "…Where were you keeping that thing?"

"Were you not even listening to me?" the big Kany snapped. "If you finish the race the way you've been going, you're just going to damage our home even more!"

"Yeah, but how else are we going to get everyone's attention so we can tell them about Mr. Gallant?" Kirby reasoned. "Besides, we _have _to win the race so we can get the Crystal Shard! We need it to save the universe!"

Waddle Dee glared at him. "You don't actually care about those things and you just want to blow up Boomer, right?"

"Absolutely. Now come on, chop-chop!" said Kirby as he raced over to the exit of the cave, holding the crate high above his head.

"Kirby, I'm serious!" Waddle Dee snapped as he stepped in front of Kirby. "We're not gonna help the Kanys this way! We should stay in here and plan out what we're going to do."

"Waddle Dee, the longer we stay in here arguing about this, the longer we leave Adeleine out there unchecked."

"…Point taken. Let's go."

––

Adeleine and Dedede were, at that very moment, tied to a tree near the riverbank and glaring acidly at the two Nruffs who were holding them captive.

"You guys have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?" Adeleine snapped. "Untie me now or face the fiery wrath of a thousand imploding suns on your head! My lawyer is going to hear about this!"

"You're an artist. You can't afford a lawyer," said the first Nruff.

"…Well, he's got me there."

"You two aren't going anywhere," said the second Nruff. "You are non-competitors who have been interfering with the race, which is _explicitly _against the rules."

"So is that any reason to tie us to a tree?" Dedede asked angrily. "With, incidentally, a really flimsy rope that normally I could totally break out of with my awesome strength, but I haven't had lunch yet."

"Dedede, are you trying to salvage your manliness?" asked Adeleine. "Because I think that went out the window the minute you teamed up with a bunch of little puffballs and a fairy."

"Once I brain these guys, you're next."

"As a matter of fact, that _is _a reason to keep you two tied up," said the first Nruff. "By interfering with the race, you are threatening to unravel Mr. Gallant's evil genius plan of keeping the native species of this river driven off their homeland just so he can make a bunch of money every year by having a bunch of easily exploitable racers maim each other in extremely over-the-top fashion for a plastic trophy."

Adeleine and Dedede looked completely blank. "Uh… run that by us again?" said Dedede.

The first Nruff suddenly looked stunned. "Oh crap… I said too much again, didn't I?"

The second Nruff sighed wearily. "Well, now that you two know the whole truth about Mr. Gallant and the Sapphire River Race, there's only one thing left to do."

"Let us go free and give us ice cream?" Adeleine asked hopefully.

"Exactly. Now prepare to – wait, no, that's not right. We're going to kill you. And _then _give you ice cream. Which will be no good to you, because you'll be dead. We're just nasty like that."

"You _fiends!_" Adeleine cried, struggling against her bonds as the Nruffs slowly and purposefully advanced on the helpless duo. "Okay, Dedede, I think it's time we enacted Escape Plan C. I'll fake an intestinal worm, and while they're distracted with me you cut their legs off and we make a break for it."

"Adeleine, I think there are at least two problems with that escape plan."

"_What the heck is going on here?_" came a sudden and very angry voice from high above their heads. Adeleine and Dedede immediately broke off from their frantic struggling and looked up in astonishment.

"It's Ribbon!" Adeleine cheered as the fairy came zooming down from the sky to meet them. "She's here to save us!"

"No, I'm here to save Dedede. The fact that you're here too is just unfortunate."

Adeleine frowned. "I'm bringing this up in therapy…"

"What in the – who are you?" the second Nruff demanded at the sight of this unexpected newcomer. In response, Ribbon turned to face him and folded her arms.

"I'll have you know these two are my friends, technically. I can only imagine what stupid thing they did to warrant being tied up like this, but I'm going to have to ask you to let them go."

"Sorry, but that's not going to happen," snapped the first Nruff. "I'll have you know these two are political prisoners!"

Dedede looked confused. "What? How?"

"…Never mind. Anyway, Miss Fairy, I'm afraid you've already seen too much, and we're going to have to take care of that."

Both Nruffs let out angry snorts and came charging directly at Ribbon, who just rolled her eyes and banged their heads together.

"Wow, Ribbon, you gotta teach me how to do that," said Adeleine as the fairy flew over and untied her and Dedede. Unfortunately her little maneuver had only momentarily stunned the two Nruffs, and they quickly cleared their heads and immediately advanced on the trio.

"All right, that's it! We're taking you all out, right now!"

Adeleine and Dedede eagerly leapt into battle stances as Ribbon glared impatiently at their foes. "Seriously? You want to take _us _on? You know it's three against two, right?"

"Oh, come on. You can't possibly tell us that the girl in the stupid hat is competent enough to win in a fight."

"_Beret! _It's called a stupid _beret!_" Adeleine shouted at them, looking highly insulted. "All right, that does it! You guys are gonna suffer! I'll be back in like fifteen minutes!" And she grabbed her art supplies and hurried behind the tree.

Ribbon sighed wearily and turned to Dedede. "Shall we?"

"I guess I've got nothing else going on."

"HIYA!" bellowed the Nruffs as they each came charging at one of the heroes.

It was hardly a fight. Ribbon wasn't very strong compared to her friends, but she was smart, easily figuring out her foe's attack patterns. All he could really do was charge at her, and she easily zipped and zoomed out of the way before landing a blow of her own. Dedede's opponent was tenacious, ramming into him and driving him backwards, but all he really had to do was swing his hammer around to come out on top. Still, their foes were burly and stubborn, refusing to go down quite that easily.

Dedede and Ribbon were running out of energy when the former suddenly turned around and noticed something. "Hey Ribbon, Adeleine's back."

"_Finally! _What in the world took her so long?"

"I think she has a flamethrower."

"Oh for Pete's sake…"

"MWAHAHAHA! WE'RE HAVIN' PORK TONIGHT!" Adeleine cheered, hoisting the flamethrower on her shoulder and spewing flames at the Nruffs. The two of them squealed in fright and immediately broke off from the fight, spinning around and scrambling back up the river.

"You know, just once I'd like to have a fight that _doesn't _make me question my sanity," Ribbon sighed once they were gone.

"I gave up on that dream a long time ago," Dedede said frankly. "Anyway Ribbon, Ad and I just found out something about this race that you probably want to hear…"

So he and Adeleine told Ribbon everything they had heard from the Nruffs, leaving the fairy looking very displeased indeed.

"Are you serious? You're saying this whole time, Kirby and Waddle Dee and the others racers have just been playing into his hand?" she cried. "This whole race is just some con to get money? Ugh, I don't believe this… we have to expose that guy!"

"Okay, but what about Kirby and Waddle Dee? They're still missing," said Dedede.

Ribbon just rolled her eyes. "If I know one thing about Kirby, it's that he doesn't go down easily… I'm sure they're fine, wherever they are. In the meantime, we've got our own job to worry about. And I think I have a plan."

"Right behind ya, Ribbon!" Adeleine said cheerfully, hoisting up her flamethrower.

"The plan does not involve setting things on fire."

Adeleine pouted and threw it away. "Well, fine then."

––

**A/N: **This thing is kind of turning into a crack fic… oh well, it's fun. :D


	6. Coming to a Head

**A/N: **Oh man... I'm really sorry I've been neglecting this story everyone. I'd like to say that school has had something to do with it, since I have pretty much zero story writing time when I'm not on break. This update brings us pretty close to the end, so I'll try and wrap it up sooner than later!

––

Kirby came racing out of the back of the cave and out onto the river, holding the boat over his head. Waddle Dee followed after him much more slowly and reluctantly.

"Check it out, Waddle Dee! We're right back on the river!" Kirby cheered. "We still have a chance! We can win this thing fair and square and get those Kanys back their home!"

Waddle Dee splashed into the river after him and stared straight ahead. "Woah... you're right, Kirby! Look!"

He pointed ahead, and sure enough, off in the distance they could see the main section of the river with the racers still careening down it. The branch of the river they were standing in joined together with it just a few hundred yards downstream.

"Well whaddaya know... Boomer blew us into a shortcut!" Kirby laughed. "Remind me to thank him once I'm done humiliating him in front of hundreds of people. Now let's _gooooo!_" He cheered wildly and ran down the river before throwing the boat into the water and jumping in.

"Woah! Kirby, wait for me! I'm the only one here with a grip on reality!" Waddle Dee cried, running after him and jumping in behind him. Within moments they had taken off and were soaring downstream once again.

"WOO! YEAH! Kirby's _back, _baby!" Kirby cheered as their part of the river joined up with the main one. The other racers who were sailing by were so shocked at seeing them again that Kirby and Waddle Dee had no trouble zooming right past them.

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Full speed ahead, Waddle Dee!"

"Okay, Kirby..." Waddle Dee said timidly, afraid his friend was going to do something rash again. "Remember, we have a job to do, right? Those Kanys back there are all counting on us. So we gotta finish this thing without going crazy, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'll be sure to - OH CRAP IT'S BOOMER! _PREPARE FOR A BLOODBATH YOU INFIDEL!_"

"Let me off this thing," Waddle Dee sobbed, slumping over in the boat as they rapidly approached the boat holding Kirby's rival. Boomer had been concentrating hard and looking straight ahead, but as he noticed the two puffballs pulling up next to him he did a double take and his eyes bulged.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" he screamed. "I got rid of you two for good! What are you doing back here?!"

"You fool! You must know that I am not so easily vanquished!" Kirby declared, hopping up onto the edge of his boat. "When you try and defeat me I will only come back stronger than ever before! Like zits!"

Waddle Dee groaned and sat up. "What Kirby's trying to say is, we need to talk to you guys about something. This whole race is a big scam! Mr. Gallant is using us to drive these Kanys away from their homes!"

Kirby glared down at him. "What? I wasn't trying to say that at all!"

Boomer just scoffed at Waddle Dee. "Yeah right! Like we'd fall for that! You got any _proof?_"

Waddle Dee was about to proudly make a retort when he paused and blinked. "Uh... not really."

"How pathetic. You guys know you can't win so now you're just lying to us to try and get us to back down! Well it ain't gonna happen!" Boomer turned to his partner. "Amp! Increase speed to twenty knots!"

"Uh... what?"

"MOVE THE BOAT FASTER!" Boomer shouted, clonking him over the head, and they immediately zoomed off and left Kirby and Waddle Dee behind.

Kirby glared at Waddle Dee. "_Now _do you see? These fiends can't be reasoned with! I tried as hard as I could to get them to listen and appeal to their sense of fairness, and they just shot me down!"

"That's not even remotely close to what happened..."

"Our only hope now is to beat them! Now let's _go!_" Kirby shouted, jumping back in the boat and leaning forward, causing them to pick up speed and throw up a spray as they took off after the defending champions.

Waddle Dee grimaced against the water hitting him in the face. "Adeleine... I hope wherever you and the other guys are, you're doing better than we are..."

––

Back at the starting line, the reappearance of Kirby and Waddle Dee had sent the spectators into an absolute frenzy. As they raced alongside Boomer and Amp for the lead spot, people watching the race were cheering insanely and making last-minute bets.

"Folks, if this isn't the craziest turn of events I've ever seen!" cried Mr. Gallant. "Kirby and Waddle Dee have come back from out of _nowhere _and are now neck-and-neck with Boomer and Amp! I believe it's all come down to this, ladies and gentlemen, so if you bet on anyone else, now would be a good time to slink off and wallow in your failure and humiliation!"

Amidst all the excitement, Ribbon, Adeleine and Dedede came sneaking back into the crowd, fully aware they were in big trouble if Mr. Gallant saw they'd gotten free. As they tried to remain hidden, Adeleine suddenly noticed Kirby and Waddle Dee on the TV screen and pointed.

"Ribbon, Ribbon, look! Kirby and Waddle Dee are back! They're not dead!" she cheered.

"Great. Then I can strangle them for making me worry so much. Now you two remember the plan, don't you? We have to expose Mr. Gallant."

"Question. How do we do that when he has no pants to pull down?" asked Adeleine.

Dedede promptly smacked her again. "What she _means _is, we have to get people to recognize his evil plan. And the only way to do that is to get a confession out of him. Which is where _I _come in," he said with a grin, whipping his hammer out.

Ribbon shook her head at him. "Sorry Dedede, but as much as this guy probably deserves it, we have to do this nonviolently."

Dedede scowled. "Nonviolently? Then why'd ya even bring me along?!"

"For moral support, mostly. Because Adeleine..." Ribbon turned to face the young painter. "I hate to say it, but I'm counting on you for this one."

Adeleine blinked slowly, then looked over her shoulder to see if Ribbon was in fact talking to somebody else. "What... seriously?" Her eyes lit up. "You actually trust me? You're giving _me_ the super secret important mission?!"

As she whooped and cheered and started doing a touchdown dance, Dedede shook his head. "Well, this proves it. Ribbon's finally snapped under the pressure. She's gone off the deep end."

"Trust me, both of you, I know what I'm doing," said Ribbon. "At least I hope I do... Dedede, you and I have to worry about the actual race. If Kirby and Waddle Dee don't manage to win, we're going to have to get that Crystal Shard by any means necessary. Think you can handle that?"

Dedede grinned and nodded. "You had me at blunt force trauma!"

"I didn't say... never mind. Adeleine, _your _job is to get Mr. Gallant to reveal whatever his plan is. Now listen closely, here's what I need you to do..."

––

The river race had reached its climax. Kirby, Waddle Dee, Boomer and Amp had left all the other racers behind as they zoomed down the rapids at a breakneck pace, fighting for the lead and drawing ever closer to the finish line.

"For the _last time_, we're telling the truth!" Kirby shouted over at them over the roar of the water. "You gotta stop chucking bombs at us, and not just for the obvious reason that we're awesome! You're gonna destroy this river just like Mr. Gallant wants!"

"Man, I knew you were a loser, but I didn't know you were a loser _and _a wuss!" Boomer cackled as he kept throwing bombs at his opponents. "Quit trying to worm your way out of this!"

Kirby and Waddle Dee yelped and screamed as they maneuvered crazily out of the range of the explosions, zigzagging back and forth. Kirby scowled at Boomer, wanting nothing more than to bust out his own explosives, but he'd be no better than Boomer if he did that...

"Face it, you'll never beat us!" the Poppy Bro crowed at them. "We're the champs here, and you chumps can't change that no matter how hard you try!"

Kirby stuck out his tongue. "Oh yeah? Well at least _we _could get girlfriends!"

Boomer's eyes bulged. "Why you - SAY THAT AGAIN!" he bellowed in a rage, grabbing the edge of his boat.

As they continued to argue, they completely failed to notice the river branching off into two again. There were a bunch of very large and colorful signs set up along the riverbank, urgently warning the boats to stay to the left. So naturally, both of their boats went off to the right.

As usual, Amp was the only one really paying attention. "Uh... Boomer..."

"How could you be so stubborn?! We're trying to tell you something important and you won't even listen to us!" shouted Waddle Dee.

"Yeah, and we're totally hotter than you!" added Kirby.

"Hey Boomer..."

"Get real! You guys need to just give it up! I'm not falling for anything you have to - "

"BOOMER!"

Boomer turned to glare at Amp, along with Kirby and Waddle Dee. "_What?!_" all three screamed at him.

"I really hate to interrupt, but while you were going at it with those two we went off course again... I think you remember what happens when you go off course right before the finish line."

Kirby looked worried. "What? What happens?"

Boomer seemed to know what Amp was talking about, though, and he suddenly grew deathly pale as he realized it.

"Oh, right... the waterfall."

All four of them suddenly turned and stared ahead, realizing their boats had been going faster and faster this whole time. It was now apparent that this was due to the fact that the river dropped off just up ahead of them, leading to a waterfall that was hundreds of feet tall.

Everyone's eyes bulged.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Kirby and Boomer shouted at each other as all of them started frantically trying to backpedal, but it was no use. The current was far too strong. There was nothing they could do.

"_YEEEAAAAAAAAAUGGHHHHH!_" all four of them screamed as both of their boats went over the falls before any of them could do a thing. As they hurtled over the edge they all fell out of their boats and tumbled head over heels, down and down, shrieking all the way as they plummeted toward the bottom and were swallowed up by the misty spray of the falls below.


	7. The Grand Payoff

**A/N: **Well, I'm not even gonna try to make an excuse this time. (Anybody still readin this thing?) This is actually the penultimate chapter, so the last one should be up within a few days. I definitely don't wanna leave this story hanging anymore.

––

Kirby slowly and blearily opened his eyes. It took him a moment to remember where he was and what had just happened, and after another moment he realized that he was not only soaking wet, but sprawled on top of his boat that was bobbing upside-down in the water.

"Owwww…" he moaned, slowly sitting up on the upturned boat and rubbing his spinning head. He had no idea how long he'd been out. He could vaguely remember that they were in a race and had just gone over a waterfall… what a stupid thing to do. Well, at least he was all right…

"Ugh… what happened, Kirby?" came a weak voice, and he turned and saw Waddle Dee was lying sprawled on the boat right next to him, painfully trying to sit up.

"You okay, Waddle Dee?" Kirby asked, immediately helping him up. "We just went over a waterfall… us two and Boomer and Amp…"

Suddenly he brightened up. "Hey, Waddle Dee! We're both all right and so is our boat! We can still beat those guys! We're almost at the end! We just have to – "

"Uh, Kirby…" said Waddle Dee, gesturing several yards away from them.

There was an enormous banner reading "FINISH" set up above the river, and directly underneath it were Boomer and Amp, jumping jubilantly up and down in their boat and cheering at the top of their lungs.

"YAHOO! WE WON!" Boomer crowed. "WE'RE THE WINNERS FOR THE FOURTH YEAR IN A ROW, SUCKERS!"

Kirby stared incredulously at this for a moment before his face fell. "…Well, phooey."

––

Approximately an hour later, all the racers had been transported back up the river to the starting line, where the closing ceremony was being held in front of the boathouse. Boomer and Amp were both standing on a wide podium and waving at their cheering fans, while Kirby and Waddle Dee had no choice but to stand back in the crowd with everyone else and sulk heavily.

"Well, everyone, it's been another fantastic, excitement-filled race!" said Mr. Gallant, who was standing on the podium with the two victors and holding the trophy. "This year was the best turnout we've ever had, and all of our racers gave it their all… but obviously, it was not enough to save most of you from crushing humiliation and defeat. You should all be ashamed of yourselves."

Most of the racers gave each other confused looks.

"How d'you think he's holding that trophy without arms?" asked Waddle Dee.

"I dunno… how do _you _talk without a mouth?" said Kirby.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Waddle Dee sobbed loudly into his hands.

"In the meantime, it is my highest honor to present this amazing first-place trophy to our winners, and champions for the fourth year in a row…"

"WAIT JUST A MINUTE!"

Mr. Gallant froze, and everyone present looked up in the direction of the voice that had just spoken to find Adeleine standing up in a tree, hands placed squarely on her hips.

Waddle Dee's eyes bulged. "_Ad? _What's she doing up there?!"

"Well, it's Ad, so whatever it is, we'd better brace ourselves," Kirby sighed, quickly putting on a hard hat.

"Oh, _please _let this work…" Ribbon groaned from where she was still in the back of the crowd to avoid being seen.

"Fear not, fair citizens, for I, the great _Adeleine_, am here to expose the truth!" Adeleine declared loudly. She grabbed her golden lasso and roped a branch of a tree across the podium from her, then swung down to land next to Mr. Gallant while loudly singing the Indiana Jones theme. "_Da da-da daaaaaaaaaa, da da-daaaaaaa…_"

"Actually, this is even more interesting than the race," Dedede decided, munching from his bag of popcorn again as Ribbon hugged her knees and sobbed.

"You see, the sinister Mr. Gallant has been deceiving you!" Adeleine continued. "This entire race is nothing but a scam!"

Everyone in the crowd looked confused and skeptical, but Mr. Gallant dangerously narrowed his eyes.

"He's converting the power from this river into hydroelectricity!" Adeleine shouted. "And he's using that power… to run his giant evil robot army that he's going to use to enslave us all!"

Mr. Gallant was about to vehemently deny anything she said, when he paused and blinked in confusion. "Wait, _what?_"

"IT'S TRUE! The robots have been planning their uprising for years now, and this man is a sympathizer! He's betrayed all of us fleshies! _Betrayed, I tell you!_"

"Oh for goodness' sake – " Mr. Gallant grabbed Adeleine and dragged her behind the podium where he was certain no one could see or hear them. "Just _what do you think you're doing?! _You've just ruined the entire ceremony!" he whispered loudly.

"No less than you deserve, you traitor!" Adeleine declared. "I'm just exposing the truth! Now prepare to face the consequences!"

Mr. Gallant finally completely lost his patience, thrusting himself into Adeleine's face and forcing her to back against the podium. "Now _listen here_, you little nitwit," he hissed. "If you're going to sling accusations at me, make sure you get your facts straight! I wouldn't expect you to understand it, but the only _scam _I'm pulling is on these racers! I'm playing them all against each other so they keep maiming each other like the idiots they are, and so those native Kanys I got rid of can _never _come back to this river!"

And then, to his utter shock, Adeleine suddenly grew a very smug grin on her face.

"You don't say? My, that _is _something," she said, reaching into her shirt sleeve and pulling out a microphone.

Mr. Gallant froze up in horror as he realized he'd inadvertently spoken right into the microphone, and his entire evil plan had just been broadcasted to everyone present over the speaker system. He slowly and nervously peered around the edge of the podium, and the shocked and mortified gasps rising up from everyone in the crowd only confirmed his fears.

Adeleine just continued to grin at him. "Heh… next time you _really _shouldn't spill your plans like that to just anybody, boyo!"

Mr. Gallant looked utterly incredulous. "But I – well I _wouldn't _have spilled them to anybody else, but – you're so _idiotic _I thought there couldn't possibly be any harm in it!"

"Ha! You got that right!" Adeleine laughed before pausing and realizing how nonsensical that reaction was. "Wait a minute… is _that _why Ribbon needed me to do this?"

"Wow… Adeleine actually pulled it off!" Dedede exclaimed, looking impressed. "Hey Ribbon, you can stop crying now."

In the meantime, the entire crowd was in an uproar over this revelation, Boomer and Amp most of all. "I don't believe it… those two numbskulls were telling us the _truth?_" Boomer cried. "Mr. Gallant! You really _have _been using me and Amp the whole time, haven't you? We're just pawns to you!"

The Galbo turned to them with an irritated expression. "Well, _obviously_. You two go around blowing people up over a plastic trophy. Why else would I keep you around?"

"THAT'S IT! You've insulted the ancient craft of my ancestors!" Boomer screamed, hoisting a lit bomb over his head. "Prepare for payback!"

"Hey, we want a piece of him too!" Waddle Dee snapped as he and Kirby leapt forward to join them, Ribbon and Dedede close behind them. "He lied to us as much as you guys!"

"And he drove all those Kanys away from their home!" added Ribbon.

"And he's ugly and smells funny!" said Kirby.

"Classy as always, Kirby," Ribbon muttered.

"Oh for goodness' sake – I don't have time for this nonsense," Mr. Gallant muttered, not looking concerned at all the able fighters closing in on him. "SECURITY!"

On his cue, over a dozen security Nruffs, each one of them wearing a dark pair of sunglasses, came charging out from behind the boathouse and directly toward our heroes while snorting and bellowing at the top of their lungs. Kirby and friends, as well as Boomer and Amp, charged fearlessly into the fight against the makeshift army, while most everyone else in the crowd started screaming and ran off to safety, having never been in a fight in their lives.

"BANZAIIIIIIII!" Adeleine cheered, running up and belly flopping into the mass of violence.

"YES! _Finally! _This is my favorite part!" Dedede cackled, pulling out his hammer and charging into the fray, indiscriminately swinging it at any Nruffs that got in his way. Ribbon sighed wearily and joined in as well, having stopped questioning why everywhere they went invariably led to an epic battle sequence that looked like it belonged in some kind of music video.

Kirby had been effortlessly taking care of the Nruffs before he broke off in time to notice Mr. Gallant attempting to slink off, forgotten and unnoticed by everyone involved in the fight.

"HEY! He's getting away!" the pink puffball shouted.

"Not on my watch he's not!" Boomer snapped, and the two rivals immediately took off together after the fleeing Galbo. His eyes widened as he saw them approach, and he was barely able to run for a few seconds before they had him cornered.

"You two really are a pair of sore losers, you know that?" he jeered as he faced them. "If you can't handle getting conned like this, I'd hate to see you on the dating scene."

"That was _below the belt_, old man!" Kirby shouted before hoisting a bomb above his head… only for Mr. Gallant to let loose a burst of fiery breath that not only burned him, but caused the bomb to go off in his hands.

"…I kinda forgot he could do that," Kirby said from where he was now lying several yards away.

"Enough fooling around!" said Boomer, racing at Mr. Gallant while chucking bombs of his own. However, the Galbo was easily able to evade each and every one of them before spewing another blast of fire at Boomer, who cried out and scrambled to get out of range. Kirby jumped back into the fray before long, but try as they might, the two of them just couldn't score any hits on Mr. Gallant, even while double teaming him.

"Geez, this guy is tougher than he looks!" Kirby swore.

"You really think I can't handle a couple of bratty kids like you?" Mr. Gallant jeered. "_I'm _the one in charge around here, in case you forgot!"

Kirby quickly broke off from the fight and fell back, panting with exhaustion. "Boomer… I'm starting to think there's only one way to take this guy out. I really hate to say this, but… I need your help."

Boomer stopped what he was doing and turned to stare at Kirby before a triumphant smirk crept onto his face. "What did you say? _You _need _my _help?" he gloated. "Well well well, how the mighty have fallen! Glad to see you finally got it in your head that I'm the important one around here! Took you long enough to – "

"DUDE, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"

"Hang on, I just want to bask in this moment. This is definitely – " He was cut off as he was barbecued by a blast of Mr. Gallant's fire breath. "Okay you're right, we don't have time. What do you need me to do?"

"Throw me one of your bombs, fast!" Kirby ordered. Boomer quickly complied, but as he did, he was surprised to see Kirby reach into his mouth and pull out what looked like a four-pointed black crystal. Then he chucked the thing right at the incoming bomb, causing them to collide in midair and reform into a similar-looking crystal, this one with eight points.

"Wha – " Boomer could only stare as Kirby inhaled the crystal with his tremendous lung power and swallowed it in one gulp – and then his eyes bulged out even more as the pink puffball suddenly turned to Mr. Gallant and spat out a trio of heat-seeking missiles!

"WHAT THE HECK?! NO FAIR! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT?!" the Poppy Bro screamed. Mr. Gallant looked shocked as well and tried to run away, but the missiles were locked onto him. He let out a shriek as they collided into him and three massive explosions blew him up into the air.

"YEAH! That's how winners do it!" said Kirby, doing a victory dance.

"Urgh…" Mr. Gallant groaned from where he was sprawled on the ground. "So, that's the way you want to do it? Fine! I'm not finished here yet!"

For all his words, though, it was painfully clear that the tide of battle had just been turned around. Kirby's Double Bomb power was too much for him to handle, and as he was unable to evade the volley of missiles, he was quickly beaten up so badly that he couldn't run away from Boomer's bombs either. In a matter of minutes, the two of them had beaten the sinister Galbo into the ground.

"Ohhhh…" he groaned weakly, swaying around before finally collapsing to the ground, soundly defeated.

"YAY! We did it!" Kirby cheered, jumping up and down and spinning around in jubilation.

"We sure did! You're finished now, Mr. Gallant!" Boomer gloated.

"YEAH!" both of them shouted at once, preparing to give each other a high-five… but then they both caught themselves in midair, seeming to realize what they'd almost done, and roughly turned away from each other and started muttering to themselves.

"Awwww, you two _like _each other! That's so sweet!" Adeleine cooed, and Kirby turned around to find that she, along with the rest of his teammates and Amp, had just come walking up behind them, having quickly dispatched the Nruff army.

"Heya, guys. You totally missed out on the action, but me and this guy over here totally showed Mr. Gallant a thing or two. I doubt he's gonna be a problem anymore."

"So I see," Ribbon said with approval in her voice. "And it looks like you two learned a lesson too. When you work together, you accomplish a lot more than when you're working against each other."

Kirby and Boomer both gave her weird looks. "What are you talking about? We didn't learn anything. Except that blowing stuff up is fun," said the Poppy Bro.

Ribbon sighed deeply. "Never mind."

"Okay, Mr. Gallant," said Waddle Dee, walking up to the defeated Galbo. "Here's what's gonna happen. You're going to give us the Crystal Shard on that trophy, you're going to issue a formal apology to all of the racers for using them all these years, and you're going to disband the Sapphire River Race _permanently _so these Kanys can have back their home that _you _took from them."

"And _then _you're going to report back here for some corporal punishment," said Dedede with a malicious grin, pounding his hammer into his palm.

Mr. Gallant wearily stood up and saw everyone closing in on him with very angry looks on their faces. He started sweating profusely.

"Ah, well… about that," he said nervously, seeming to recognize he'd been beaten. "I suppose you may be right… it seems I have no choice but to – oh my goodness! What's that behind you?!"

All seven of them turned and looked over their shoulders. "Yoink!" shouted Mr. Gallant as he spun around and ran away.

Everyone turned back around with very displeased looks as they realized what had happened. "I can't believe we fell for that," Kirby muttered.

"I can't believe _Ribbon _fell for that," said Adeleine.

––

Mr. Gallant was frantically racing down the riverbank as fast as he could go. He _refused _to believe that a couple of empty-headed racers had gotten the better of him like that! Not when he'd been the one pulling the strings all this time! No, he was going to get out of here and start over – somewhere where they'd never find him! They couldn't stop him no matter how hard they tried – _he _was top dog around here, and they'd never –

He'd been frantically glancing behind his shoulder to make sure they hadn't caught up to him, and so wasn't looking in front of him until he slammed into something very large and very hard. Briefly stunned, he staggered backward before shaking his head to clear it and looking at what was in his way.

As he saw it, he grew very pale, and his gaze slowly traveled up.

The enormous Kany was towering over him, looking down at him with a very unfriendly expression. All the other Kanys were standing behind it, snapping their pincers threateningly at the fleeing Galbo and cutting off his escape.

"GIANT ENEMY CRAB!" he screamed.

"That's getting _really _old, you know," the big Kany said impatiently, grabbing the hapless Mr. Gallant in its claw and lifting him off the ground.

"Hey, it's the Kanys! They came!" Kirby exclaimed as he and the others caught up with Mr. Gallant. "Hang on… what are you guys doing here? I thought you didn't want to get involved in this."

"Your determination inspired us, Kirby," said the big Kany, looking down at the pink puffball. "We realized that this river is _our _home, and if someone we had just met was willing to go to such lengths to protect it for us, it was only right that we do the same. Well, that, and we didn't entirely trust you to do it without just blowing more things up."

"They know you so well," Ribbon remarked as Kirby grew a humiliated look.

"Now, then." The big Kany turned its attention back to Mr. Gallant, who was shaking very violently and whose eyes had grown comically large. "As I'm sure you know, we Kanys prefer to resolve our disputes peacefully. We avoid violence and lashing out whenever possible, no matter the situation."

Mr. Gallant seemed to relax a little. "Oh, well, that's good then."

"At least, that's how we _used _to be. But that clearly got us nowhere, so I'm just going to do this instead." And the big Kany wound up and hurled Mr. Gallant clear over the horizon.

"_YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiii_…"

Kirby and the others watched him as he vanished. "Well… that was interesting," Kirby finally said.

"Does this mean no corporal punishment?" Dedede pouted.


	8. A Fond Farewell

**A/N: **And here we finally are, the last chapter of this epic tale! Once again, I'm super sorry I dragged this out for so long. I really do love writing about these guys, but as I'm sure you all know, sometimes life gets in the way. I'm glad I was able to present you all with the ending, and I hope you'll all stay tuned for my new, _considerably _less humorous multichapter fic that should be going up fairly soon.

––

Once all the confusion had died down, Kirby, his compatriots, and everybody else started taking stock of the results of that day. Mr. Gallant was gone and likely never coming back, everyone unanimously agreed to suspend the annual river race permanently, and the Kanys were free to return to their home. All that remained was to figure out where to go from here.

"I can't believe it… that two-bit dino-breath was playing us the whole time," Boomer sighed, sitting on the riverbank and resting his head in his hands. "Oh well. At least we still won the race and beat Kirby."

Kirby glared at him. "Dude, you won a race that was orchestrated to make that guy money and keep the Kanys away. That's nothing to be proud of."

"Yeah, but you guys still lost. Ha!"

Kirby quickly lost his patience and looked ready to slug the Poppy Bro before Ribbon grabbed him. "Okay, you two, _listen. _There's literally _no _reason for you to be fighting anymore! You were only at each other's throats in the first place because of the race, and in case you didn't notice, you two are a _lot _more effective when you're working together." She folded her arms. "I know you don't want to admit it, but you're a lot more alike than you think."

Kirby and Boomer seemed to ponder this in silence for a moment, glancing at each other and shuffling around awkwardly at Ribbon's words.

"Well… I guess you're right, Ribbon. As usual," Kirby sighed. "I guess us fighting all the time was exactly what Mr. Gallant wanted. And y'know Boomer, you really are pretty good at chucking bombs."

"Yeah, you're not half bad yourself," Boomer conceded.

Kirby brightened up. "Ya think? 'Cause I got fifty-five other awesome powers too! I can turn into a refrigerator and – "

"Okay, shut up. Let's just agree we can stop fighting and be friends," said Boomer. "Man, this actually feels pretty good. I guess we'd better go find Waddle Dee and Amp and tell them to follow our example."

"Dude, the two of us patched things up hours ago. We were tag teaming for most of that fight," Amp said impatiently from where he and Waddle Dee were off talking.

"We're pen pals now!" Waddle Dee added cheerfully.

Boomer's face fell. "Oh, forget it."

"Well, it's good to see you two finally worked that out," said Ribbon. "Now I suppose we need to figure out how to fix up this river."

"Leave that to me," Dedede said confidently. "Okay ladies and gentlemen, listen up! Since you were all stupid enough to trash this river in the first place, now you get to clean it up. And since I'm the only one here with an actual position of authority, I hereby appoint myself head of the cleaning committee."

Ribbon looked impressed. "Really, Dedede? You're willing to take on that responsibility? That's admirable of you."

"Well, why not? It means I get to sit around and order people around. Next to smashing stuff, that's what I'm best at!"

"I hate everyone," Ribbon groaned.

––

While everyone recognized that the river wouldn't go back to normal overnight, after several hours of everybody working together cleaning, it was already starting to look better. Kirby's team grew confident that it was all right for them to leave and carry on with their quest and leave the natives to take care of the rest.

"Wow Dedede, I'm really impressed. I didn't know you were this good at organizing stuff," said Adeleine.

"Well, obviously. How d'you think I got to be king in the first place?"

"I always assumed you just paid everyone to start calling you that."

"We cannot thank you for everything you've done for us, Kirby," said the giant Kany as they prepared to set off. "Before too long, this river should go back to being the home we remember. We have been away for too long."

Kirby grinned sheepishly. "Hey, no biggie. Helping people out is what I do… unless they get on my nerves. Then I just beat them up. Or eat them."

"…Yes, well. We Kanys wish you luck on your noble quest. I am confident that you will purge the universe of this darkness."

"Hey, that reminds me. We still need that Crystal Shard!" Ribbon exclaimed. "Where's that trophy?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… here you guys go," Boomer sighed as he detached the shard from his prized trophy and gave it to Kirby. "I guess this trophy really is just a hunk of plastic, after all… y'know, I was kind of skeptical when I first heard you guys needed this thing to save the entire universe from being destroyed."

"I guess it is a pretty hard story to swallow," Kirby admitted.

"Well, mostly I didn't believe it because that black-haired chick was telling us about it."

"Yeah, and I used sock puppets!" Adeleine said cheerfully, holding up both of her hands which indeed had sock puppets on them. "Look, here's Kirby and Ribbon! I tried to make one for Dedede too, but the sock wasn't fat enough – ACK!" she cried as Dedede grabbed her by the ear and dragged her off.

"Well, I guess that's our cue. See you guys around," said Kirby, waving goodbye to Boomer and Amp as he and his friends set off away from the river and toward their next adventure.

"Well, what a day that was," he said fondly as they were all walking together. "We got to be in a race, beat up a bunch of punks, and now we're one step closer to saving the universe!"

"Well, I'm glad _you _at least enjoyed yourself," Waddle Dee muttered as he trudged alongside him.

Kirby glanced at him. "What, you didn't have fun, Waddle?"

"Kirby, that whole race I thought you were gonna kill both of us. I'm surprised my heart's still in working order," the brown puffball complained. "Whatever. I know it was necessary and all, but I'm honestly just glad it's all over and we don't have to do anything like that again."

––

"**YEEEEEAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!**" Waddle Dee screamed at the top of his lungs as he and Kirby zoomed down a flimsy set of tracks at breakneck speed in a shoddy little mine cart. "_WHY ME? WHY ME?!_"

"WOOOOOO! THIS IS AWESOME!" Kirby cheered, waving his arms over his head. "Uh oh – WATCH OUT!" The cart crashed into a large rock jutting out of the ground, went somersaulting through the air, then slammed back down on the tracks on the other side and kept going. "My bad."

"Good thing I brought some more of this stuff," said Dedede, eating some more popcorn as he, Ribbon and Adeleine stood back and watched this.

"Those two are going to kill themselves," said Ribbon. "I feel like we should do something to help…"

All three of them glanced at each other, remembering everything they'd had to go through the last time.

"_Nah_," they all said.

**THE END!**


End file.
